The first ten minutes.

So Lynda rings me right on 5:30 asking if I can come home on time...

"You’re not working late tonight are you?. She's wild. I need you here".

"Yeh yeh Yeh I'll come home now", I said.

On the way home I think I'll be nice to my lovely wife. I knew she was stressed, so I called in to Woolworths and bought a little bunch of flowers and chocolates.

Then I get home and put the key in the door. I turned the key blissfully unaware of the world that awaited me…

I open the door and Melanie comes running over to give me the usual warm welcome home.
"Don’t touch her she's wet and slimey." shouts Lynda.

Turn out she's tipped out an entire bottle of shampoo on the bathroom floor and proceeded to roll in it.

Sounds not so bad so far.

I'm like "hold on hold on, I'll get changed quickly." rather than wreck my work clothes.

I start by running a bath and dropping her in it. No need for bubble bath, there's plenty on Melanie. So Lynda's trying to wash the slime off her while I'm tasked with cleaning up the floor.

Firstly I use a towel and soak up most the shampoo. All is good…. Well I thought so anyway.

Melanie steps out of the bath with wet feet and the first thing she does is slip over.

Water + shampoo = slippery floor.

Do you know just how hard it is to mop a detergent covered floor? The more water you use, the more suds you get on the floor?

Anyway- after a lot of rinsing over and over with the mop, I finally get the floor clean. (I'm talking really clean).

In the meantime, Melanie has run out of the bathroom and rolled on Ben's bed.

Here's the formula you need to use to assess the temperature of the household at this point:

Wet child + bed = dry child x angry mother(2)

So Lynda's now finished drying Melanie properly and got her dressed. She then starts to strip the bed of the wet sheets.

So while Mummy's occupied with that, and daddy's still mopping the floor, Melanie makes a bee-line for the kitchen where there's pretty flowers that daddy just bought mummy. She destroys the bunch in about 5 seconds flat.

So I then move from finishing the bathroom floor, to immediately cleaning up the flowers petals and mess from the kitchen floor.

Finally everything settles down for a normal night. Oh well. Gotta love it. Lynda liked the chocolates. :-)